Losing Independence to Find Freedom

The flickering and buzzing sounds were coming from the mud room of my sister’s house. Convinced it was some sort of bug, my nephew was armed with a broom and my niece had the flyswatter, ready to capture, squash or crush. We ducked as it came careening toward us, its wings zapping against the ceiling.

Zooming kamikaze-like across the house from window to window, it searched for a way out. My niece called to her brother, “Oh, it’s a dragonfly! Don’t kill it!” 

Since the bug was not in my house, I had no reason to be my usual frantic self so I calmly watched the proceedings from a safe distance.

My nephew put down the broom and ran for a cup to trap it. With my niece bravely holding up the blind so my nephew could capture it against the window, I watched them work to trap the dragonfly. So they could set it free. 

My niece told her brother to hurry, hurry as they ran to open the door. 

Away it flew.

To freedom.

Freedom is my theme for this year. But back in January when I chose it as my one word for 2014, I didn’t realize how hard it would be to actually find the freedom I was hoping for. 

I wanted freedom from what gets in the way of my friendships and relationships. 

I wanted freedom from perfection and fear and discouragement. 

I wanted freedom from worry and disappointment. 

But freedom isn’t gained without great effort and cost. 

I’m realizing that God sometimes chooses to work in ways that are quite the opposite of how I’d expect him to. But how could I ever set limits for God? 

I've experienced his wonders that are lavishly beyond what I could ever dream of. Meant-for-me miracles that left me wonderstruck.

His ways are out of the ordinary so I can experience the extraordinary.

His ways are mysterious so I can live in faith.

His ways are not safe so I can take hold of courage.

His ways are not predictable so I can trust wholeheartedly.

So I’m giving up my independence to find freedom in depending on God.

It’s giving up the right to set timelines for my life, especially when I think it's too late to pick up some of the pieces of my life that are hanging by a thread. It’s knowing I don’t have to control my circumstances and manipulate my future. 

Although it might be opposite of how I would think, it’s actually quite freeing. 

When I relinquish control of things I can’t control anyway, I’m free to find peace I can’t possibly explain, believing in the sovereignty of God. He is working even when it’s still and silent. 

I keep believing. Because that’s what faith is. 

It's believing before. 

So when I look back after, I’m amazed that he’s been working out his purposes all along. 

God tells me that his peace that surpasses all understanding will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:7)

Even though it seems contradictory, when I allow God to guard my heart, I have the freedom to live the kind of life he wants me to. 

I’m not afraid to go deeper. I trust him with my heart because, after all, this life is not my own.

And that is hope that promises great freedom.

Freedom. For a dragonfly. And for me.

I'm linked up with my friends at Holley Gerth's place at Coffee for your Heart. Join me there!